Posts (page 2)

The card represents the critical factor for the issue at hand. Stars: Renewal of hope. Feeling connected with cosmic or universal energies. As Above, So Below. Opening your eyes to the highest potential of your situation. Getting in touch with your own creative powers. Self-esteem. Far-reaching effects. Receiving recognition for your abilities. Doing your own thing, no matter what.

Now this is EXACTLY what I was looking for!! It's time for me to return to who I am, what I've become and focus on where I'm going. I feel her again, my muse is awakening. I worried that I would forget, that my addiction would subside, and I would find new interests. Instead I kept my faith, allowed myself to rest, and now I am prepared to continue my journey. The tides of the journey ebb and flow, but persistance accounts for so much in my life. It's good to feel as if I am "back". Cheers!

I revealed words again today,

decided I had something to say.

It’s been so long, almost forgotten how,

what once was lost is remembered now.

Bared the scars of bitten flesh,

the burning yearns to acquiesce

You’ve escaped me once, unmotivated desire,

I found the torch, relit the fire.

It wasn’t as though you were never gone,

just shelved until I hummed the song.

You’re why I’m here and why I stay,

you’re what made me think this way.

I don’t know why we fought this fight,

as we go to sleep this night.

I will not apologize,

tears shall not touch my eyes.

Don’t think we’re done with one last fling,

I’ve brought us back to the beginning.

The card represents the critical factor for the issue at hand. Two of Poetry (Individuality): "Every Mans Wisdom is peculiar to his own Individuality". Making choices based on personal perception. Evaluating the appearances of things. Exploring alternative ways of looking at a situation. Looking beyond ego-concerns to spiritual ones. Searching for self-knowledge. Deciding between societal and individual points of view. In the creative process: Distinguish between the expression of your Self and the expression of your ego; discover the difference between wise individuality and unwise individualism.

Interesting concept. It is one thing to be one's own person. However turning others off in process is not a noble endeavour. You should not change for others, but there is no shame in comforming - norms are what they are for a reason. You are not a rebel, a unique snowflake, or the most precious grain of sand. You are however the center of your own universe and that is an important distinction, I believe. These cards allow me to keep my way and so I partake for now.

Loves

1. Long emails
2. Weekend plans
3. Psychology class (yeah, it used to be a loathe, but I don't care!)
4. New experiences
5. Dinner dates
6. My daughters
7. Funny stories about people I don't work with
8. Funny stories about people I DO work with
9. My new hair color - I'm back to brown, with highlights
10. My new wardrobe - although my bank account is none to pleased with me

Loathes

1. Spending money
2. Cancelled plans
3. Class on Wednesdays, every Wednesday, for the next 3 years.
4. Doubt
5. My muse - she taunts me from the shadows and I haven't seen her in a while. Come out, come out wherever you are!
6. Not being on a beach.

The card represents the critical factor for the issue at hand. Union: The successful coming-together of something vitally important to you. Getting your act together at last. The joining of male and female forces, or unification or inner and outer life. Not holding anything back. Being at the center. Completion. Spiritual self-sacrifice.

The joining of two halves? Not exactly the inspiration I was hoping for, although perhaps a joining of my creative side (which I have always viewed as femine) with my more direct, rigid nature (the masculine). I really need to get on the ball and make some weighty choices soon. I have had fun being here, blogging, and participating. Play time is over however and buckling down seems to be modus operandi lately. Sadly the world is filled with fun, interesting things I would SO much rather be doing that actual work. My goal was to enjoy the five years after my last major life change - divorce, and then figure it out after getting things "out of my system". I do not believe I can hold on that long, although time will tell.

Pilferred from IrishLuckyLass and uncagedbird.

Are you happy with your given name?
My name fucking rocks!

What is your guaranteed weeping movie?
I always get a little emotional when the bad guy loses. Can't he win just once?

What is the one thing you like to do alone?
Read a book.

What’s a major fear of yours?
Being bored.

Are you a pyromaniac?
I do not like to set things on fire to destroy things, but I do enjoy the way candlelight caresses flesh.

Do you know anyone famous?
Not personally.

Describe your bed:
Queen size mattress on boxspring, on frame. No headboard. Black sheets and two blankets.

What do you carry with you at all times?
My heart

How do you eat an apple?
With my mouth

Do you prefer to stand out or blend in?
Stand out.  

What kind of first impression do you think you give people?
Nice hair, lose a bet?

Favorite communication method?
Meeting someone, although I am far more eloquent whenever I write.

What is your hidden talent?
Heh.  Wouldn’t you LOVE to know.  

Do you own a Bible?
I own some children's Bibles to teach my children from. Baptized Catholic, but non-practicing.

How many drinks before you’re tipsy?
Depends.

Do you have a problem changing clothes in front of friends?
No.

What should you be doing instead of this?
Going home.

Who was the last person who called you?
Kara

Are you ready?
Usually.

What is the last gift you gave someone?
Anyone who receives my time.

Does everything happen for a reason?
Things are as they are meant to be.

What is your biggest headache lately?
Procrastination.

What color is your bedroom?
White.

Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
I wish I were less so sometimes. 

Have you ever pierced your own body part or that of someone else?
Not once, not ever. 

What kind of watch do you wear?
I lost my post-divorce Fossil watch. :(

What’s one car you will never buy?
A minivan. Never again.

How many online journals do you read daily?
Depends who's updating my neighborhood.

Do you cry in front of your friends?
Not if I can help it.

Would you die to save the life of someone you dearly love?
Yes, although I wish I wouldn't.

Do you have any married friends?
Yes.

Do you like thunderstorms?
Quite a bit.

What was your first job?
I can't remember if I was a little league umpire before or after I became a paperboy...

What was the last thing you typed before this survey?
Email to Kara.

Who was your last IM to?
Kara 

Favorite word lately?
Elicit.

What’s the strangest thing that’s happened to you in the past week?
I've gone from having a monogamous relationship, to opening up said relationship, to realizing that nothing entices so I'd rather just be monogamous. We'll see what happens next week.

You have a crush, don’t you?
Can you have a crush on the person you're dating?

Who?
Um. Duh!

What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments?
I suppose I sweat, but that's pressure, not insecurity.

Do you talk a lot?
I love the sound of my own voice.

What do you typically order at a bar?
Favorite drink - Sapphire & Tonic.

Name ONE trait you hate in a person.
Lying.

What’s one thing you’re a loser at?
I've never been much of an athlete.   

Do you like the rain?
Thunderstorms are good, being outside and wet, not so much.

Last person you talked to in person?
Darlene

What are your plans for the weekend?
I get to spend the whole weekend with the kid-diddles. I miss them.

How much money would it take for you to give up the internet for a year?
Enough money to live in the tropics.

Where’s your ideal marriage location?
The moon?

What do you cook the best?
I make a mean Macaroni and Cheese, but I love to cook. For others.

What kind of books do you like to read?
Right now - those recommended to me by close friends.

If you win the lottery, what would you like to do?
Live on an island somewhere warm and sunny.

If you don’t like a person, how do you show it?
I tell them. Usually they think I'm kidding, often I am not. 

How long have you known your best friend?
I do not have best friends. If you are worth being called my friend, you are already great.

What are you listening to?
"The World is Flat" by Thomas Friedman.

What was the last thing you laughed at?
Kara's witty sense of humor.

What do you wish you were doing right now?
I think the "what" should be changed to "who"...

What musical instrument do you wish you could play?
I'm teaching myself to play the saxophone. Wish me luck! 

If you could speak any language, which language would you speak?
Italian. 

What fingers did you use to answer this… RIGHT NOW?
This question is dumb.

Are you going to save your results?
I suppose so.

The card represents the critical factor for the issue at hand. Angel of Music: "Like as an angel glitt'ring in the sky, / In times of innocence and holy joy: / The joyful shepherd stops his grateful song. / To hear the music of an angel's tongue". A surge of passionate emotion. A call for compassion in the situation. A need to rise above a mundane or materialistic milieu. Possibility of being granted a favor or indulgence. An unexpected emotional influence. Emerging impulse to personal transformation. Development of appropriate aesthetic sensibility. Intuitive awareness of public needs or the mass media. In the creative process: An inrush of excitement or appearance of a new factor offers alternative possibilities for your work.

To hear the angels sing in my ear. What an event to look forward to. My goals as of late are to ensure that the mundane ceases to creep into my life. I want to be excited, passionate, do all the things I want to do to make life worth living. It's not easy, but the days grow filled with greater emotional joy.

"Emerging impulse to personal transformation. Development of appropriate aesthetic sensibility."

Hrmmm, I do need a new wardrobe tonight and I was inspired the previous evening. Somewhat mundane but a still needed change in my life. I look forward to discovering what today holds for me.

The card represents the critical factor for the issue at hand. Six of Painting (Assistance): Giving or receiving favors or tangible help of some kind. Sponsorship or patronage. A positive influence in the situation. Although "over your head," an angel may rescue you. Generosity of spirit. Being charitable. Assisting those in need. In the creative process: You can attract the assistance and tools you need by using your imagination and not giving up hope.

Assistance from a benefactor, something I could use right about now. I do not rely on others, but to accept guidance from them is another thing entirely. I love connecting with people who know more than I do, in that I can learn from them. Sadly, I have one mind numbing meeting today that may interfere with my mentorship meeting later on. I think I'm motivated enough today to start accomplishing tasks I've put off for far too long.

The card represents the critical factor for the issue at hand. Child of Painting: Riding the wave of prosperity. A time to show your hand and reveal your innate powers. Enjoying a position of material advantage. Putting forth charisma. Hedonistic enjoyment. Drug experimentation. Surfing the Internet. Total absorption in your activities. Trusting your body and instincts. Open to new experiences. In the creative process: Now is a time to experiment with processes and materials, taking great pleasure in what you learn and create.

Where the hell did this come from? I certainly do not feel like experimenting today. I was more - put to the test, so to speak. I've worked on my inner self for so long, molding it, changing it, making it what I wished it to be. Steel untested will never have its strength proven. I do not fear that I won't pass, because I already have. I have certainly come out better than when I started. Let's see if class tonight will spark my creativity!

The card represents the critical factor for the issue at hand. Ten of Painting (Delight): Your work or ideal takes on a life of it own. Financial prosperity. Achievement or promotion on the job. Inheriting something of tangible or permanent value. Family gatherings and traditions. Finding your roots. Active involvement in community and societal spheres. In the creative process: The success of completion of your project is cause for celebration and an opportunity to honor all the gods and spirits that participated in your benefit.

Is it yet time to take joy in my hard work? Of this I am doubtful, but one never knows. What I am certain of is that my efforts lately have been on a much grander scale than previously experienced. I am appreciative of all who've touched me and all who I have touched. I would not trade this life for any other, as I am the best me there is. My choices are my own and I make them with eyes wide open. The engine of self discovery creates its own energy.